Hopeful Adaptation

To everything, there is a season. “There is a time to weep and a time to laugh, a time to mourn, and a time to dance (Ecclesiastes 3:4 NIV).” Only the most jaded among us would not embrace times of laughter and dance. But what of times of weeping and mourning? Even the bravest souls would hesitate at the signs of such prospects. Those times threaten to exact a greater toll from our lives than many are willing to pay.

We all have faced times of weeping and mourning. When they happen, we experience the disorientation that comes with any significant disruption to our routines. There is the stunned feeling that soon gives way to numbness. Then comes the sensation of being overwhelmed as new problems always appear to dwarf anything we have faced before. We have all been there. Only the very young and the dead are spared these jarring and painful experiences.

Thankfully, persevering through such distress is possible if we can reach the place of hopeful adaptation. That is, finding a way to regain our footing (adaptation), and then discerning and pursuing options that will help us to heal (hope). Here are three things that may help.

1. Accept what has happened. At the onset of times of weeping or mourning, it is natural to question if we were responsible for our suffering. Was there something we did or did not do? Could we have avoided it? There is always the place for reflection in any crisis. However, the longer we investigate what brought us to the point of suffering, the further we are from accepting our circumstances. Until there is the acceptance of where we are, there will be no starting point from which we can move forward.

2. Absorb what has happened. Times and weeping and mourning can be scary. They may mean the removal of people and things that brought us security and happiness. Never be afraid to take a step back and rest for a while. There is nothing wrong with feeling remorse or regret over our unfortunate circumstances or misguided actions. Taking the time to process those emotions at the beginning means we are positioning ourselves for healing sooner rather than later. As the pain lessens, our souls will soon begin to resuscitate, and our minds will regain the clarity we need for focused thinking. 

3. Advance from what has happened. We must be willing to learn and grow beyond what we currently know. This means embracing new and different possibilities for our healing – no matter how intimidating they may seem. The solutions that saved us in this past will not always work in present. It is true that difficult circumstances elicit similar emotional reactions (anger, fear, sorrow), but the particulars that make these circumstances problematic are rarely identical. However, as multifaceted as our struggles are, our God has a diverse repertoire of solutions at His disposal (Isaiah 41:17-18). We must have faith and avail ourselves of them.

It will take time, but eventually, we will find our way through our weeping and mourning. These seasons are only for a time and will come to pass. We must trust our Heavenly Father to shepherd us to that place restoration (Psalm 23:1-3) as we adapt and remain hopeful.